Side effects may include upset stomach, vomiting, diarrhea, hives, difficulty breathing, dizziness, or swelling. All in the name of vanity.

I received this email not too long ago about a product review. Initially, I was SO EXCITED! Someone found my blog and thought that I was “INFLUENTIAL” enough to actually review a product and potentially coerce people into buying it! And then I read it…

Hi there,

My name is Amanda, and I’m with Rocket XL, a marketing agency based in Los Angeles. I stumbled across your website and wanted to invite you to join our online review team for a product called Sensa. As a busy [woman or mom] who has a lot on your plate, we wanted to see if Sensa maybe something that can help you in your fitness and weight-loss goals.

We’d love to send you a FREE 3-month Sensa Starter Kit (a $197 value) to review and hope you will share your thoughts and experiences with your readers. We also will give you a unique code that will allow your readers to get a Sensa Trial Kit FREE for 60-days. In addition, we will be running a contest where the site that has the highest number of trials will win some great prizes!

Please let me know if you are interested and I will follow up soon with more details about the campaign and prizing opportunity. We’d love to have your influential voice included. Thanks for taking the time to consider this opportunity – looking forward to hearing back from you!

Take care,
Amanda

First of all, there is nothing more convincing to me that I’ll loose weight than SPRINKLING a diet drug on my food. That’s just screaming “Slim!” And, wait, if you had actually READ MY BLOG, you would know that I don’t even HAVE weight-loss goals! I’m a RUNNER, (not a recumbent bicyclist!) of ALL distances, primarily of the 1/2 and full marathon variety.

And secondly, your comment, “as a busy [woman or mom] who has a lot on your plate,” is just UNCANNY! A LOT on your PLATE?! If that’s not subliminal, I don’t know what is! Very creative, you marketing genious!

Thirdly, as far as my “influential” voice goes, let it be known, that I am more than just influential; I’m revolutionary. Do you even know how many people read my blog? No? Well, it’s a lot. I think.

With age comes perfection. Sadly, that doesn’t apply to blogging. Or, MY blog anyway.

So, I’m approaching my 100th blog post. This seems like it should be monumental. I mean, sure A YEAR is even more monumental, but 100?! F*ck, yeah! I started out not knowing what to write for my first entry. And now, 90-something posts in, I STILL don’t know what to write. Haha! I’m sure you all thought I had each post perfectly planned out! Gotcha! And, hells no! Okay, SOME events in my life do lend themselves to a post. Even some NONevents in my life lend themselves to a post. But one thing is for certain, I still have a very low following of readers. Don’t let the 8,000+ “visits” recorder on the bottom of right hand bar fool you. It’s probably just the same person checking my blog over and over seeing if I’ve posted anything new and different. The answer is simple: no and no! Or, it’s just the people who keep Googling “little ass” and MY blog comes up. Something to be proud of. Maybe it’s more that I have a following, but a QUIET following. Perhaps it’s a “closet” following, so to speak. Wait, are people afraid to speak out on my blog? Maybe they just like to read it instead of participate in the talkiness that happens in the comment section. Or, I should rephrase, the talkiness that COULD happen in the comment section. Maybe my blog is like a “cult classic.” Or, maybe they’re like the people who attend college classes and never talk to anyone, but instead come in, sit in the back, hear the crappy lecture, collect books and notes, and jet. So, to compare, my readers come to my blog, reads the posts that are shittyness, satisfy their voyeuristic needs, perhaps even a laugh (if I’m lucky), and jet. Onto the next blog. I’m a blog among blogs.

I digress. 100th post. I feel like I should already be preparing for some badass shit to hit the blogosphere come numero cien. A funny video or picture? A sultry picture of yours truly? Provided those even exist. I’m sure Glaven will run with that. A question and answer session? A giveaway of sorts? What, what?!

Those of you who actually read this blog, please feel free to comment. Oh fine, DON’T comment, see if I care! Actually, I do care. 100th post suggestions are welcome.

In this town we call home, everyone hail to the pumpkin song

One of the best Halloween songs. I won’t watch the film, The Nightmare Before Christmas, because it will creep me out! The voices alone in the song creep me out!

Photos from around the neighborhood.

My house. More pictures because it just looks better at night and I didn’t want to trapse around the neighborhood at night after our snowstorm that left 25 inches of snow. Call me lazy.

Happy Halloween!

Snow Day reprise

No school again today, Thursday*. 25 inches of snow.

I cooked. Eggnog pancakes. They were the shit.

I ran. My arch nemesis. And “abbed.”

I read. New blogs to follow.
The Mistress of Horror: An anonymous “mistress” who reviews and blogs horror films. Quite well, might I add. She and I will be close blog friends, I’m sure of it.
Soul From My Soles: A runner with a future in marathoning.
Zipbag of Bones: The hilarious musings of unpublished novelist, Cat.

I baked. Again. K’s favorite, Snickerdoodles.

*We ONLY get 2 alloted snow days each school year! Now what?! What if we get dumped on again in January? Or March? I don’t want to make up these days in June!

Snow Day

No school today, Wednesday. 12 inches of snow. More to come.

I baked. Peanut butter/oatmeal/chocolate chip cookies.

I carved.

The House of the Devil Review

The House of the Devil is, by far, one of the greatest horror films in years! YEARS!

Though it isn’t yet released on the big screen, it is available for viewing On Demand, which is how K and I watched it this past weekend.

Writer/Director Ti West was highly successful in creating a realistic throw back to a horror movie from the 1980’s. Such an era that triumphed in the horror genre. Case in point: MOST of them. For THotD: the clothing, the score, the camera lens/filter, the pacing, the atmosphere. Superb. This is why Drag Me to Hell, from 80’s horror director, Sam Raimi of The Evil Dead fame, was as fantastic as it was. Thank you Raimi for abandoning your other cinematic efforts to bring us what you’re REALLY good at: horror.

I’ve felt for some time now that modern horror films have grown tiring. The constant spooks and scares, blood and guts, though good for insta-frights and indulging our ADD generation, offer zero buildup and very little character development. Something I find crucial for creating a good horror film atmosphere. THotD, on the other hand, draws you in immediately, the suspense and dread gradually escalating, all the while making you sympathize with protagonist, Samantha, played by the exquisite Jocelin Donahue.

Samantha, a 2nd year college student, is urgently seeking side jobs for quick cash. When she stumbles upon a babysitting ad on her college campus, Samantha reluctantly calls, though she “hates kids.” Through a series of events, and a very long, dark drive down a country road, friend Heather drops Samantha off at the residence. But not before meeting the odd older couple. And when I say odd, I really mean FREAKING CREEPY! And not before finding out that there really is no babysitting job, but another kind of job altogether. One worth $400 for 4 hours. With a promise to return at 12:30am, Heather hastily leaves the house. And we all know what happens when someone promises the protagonist that they’ll return to pick them up…WHAT?! YOU DON’T KNOW?! WATCH MORE HORROR MOVIES!

Fastforward: FREAKING CREEPY couple leaves house, Samantha wanders the house, she phones Heather (hmmm, no answer…), orders pizza, investigates house more thoroughly whilst jamming to great 80’s music. Wait, what was that brief camera pan that provided us a view of what was behind the guest room door upstairs?! One of the greatest perspectives in a horror movie is being able to see something that the protagonist can’t! Something that is just terribly wrong! And suddenly you are spiraling downward with Samantha in this whirlwind of scariness and desperately pleading with her, through the TV screen, to “LEAVE THE F*CKING HOUSE!”

But, it’s far too late now. FREAKING CREEPY couple has plans for Samantha. She is to be part of their next satanic ritual. Though already torn, the final 15 minutes of this film will rip you open completely, and as you frantically attempt to try and look away in order to sew yourself shut, you just CAN’T! And the powerful ending will continue to leave you unglued.

I give The House of the Devil 4 out of 5 stars.

Regional Championships 2009

This past Friday, our high school athletes competed in the cross country Regional race at Clement Park by Columbine High School. As previously mentioned, the coaches had realistic expectations and high hopes for both the girls and boys varsity teams.

Based on the field, 4 girls teams were going to advance to State. And, as predicted, our girls team placed 3rd, with 86 points. While Evergreen and Mullen took 1st and 2nd respectively. Just what we thought. Girls varsity is going to State! The team consists of 4 Freshmen, 1 Sophomore, 1 Junior, and 1 Senior. It’s so exciting to take 5 underclassmen to State! They shrieked, like only high school girls can, when we told them the news.

Individually, Senior, T, broke her 3rd place “rut” and was the Regional runner-up with a 19:14. She hung right with the top two girls, both from Evergreen, and during the last mile, overtook one of them on an uphill! This is why we run hills! Sophomore, H, ran a beautiful race and placed 12th.

At the coaches meeting, we were told that there was a high possibility that 6 boys teams would be advancing to State. We decided not to tell our boys this news. We felt it best that they work hard under the assumption that top 5 would advance. As it turns out, the they did end up only taking 5 teams to State, and just barely! Apparently, one of the teams had a runner come through at 29 minutes, and before he finished, the games committee assumed this was an imcomplete team, meaning only 4 boys teams would advance. When this runner came through, it meant 5 boys teams. Unfortunately, our boys team placed 6th, just one place from advancement! A mere 12 points separated them from 4th place! Our boys had 128 points, 5th place had 118, and 4th place had 116. But, our boys should hold their heads high! 4 of the 7 PRed on a course that isn’t PR friendly. They worked SO hard and gave everything they had for that race. Our top runner, and Freshman, C, did qualify for State as an individual when he place 12th.

So, one more week of practice for the girls varsity team, plus one alternate, and C, on the boys side. We’ll leave Friday afternoon for Ft. Collins, an hour north of Boulder, and the kids race Saturday. C’s race is at 11am and the girls race at 12:30. Hooray!

Phone it in Friday

What was intended to be a picture of quarter notes, posted outside of the music room in our elementary school, turned out to be a MUSIC NOTE FAIL!

They look slightly like…well, you know where I’m going with this!

Happy weekend!

Paranormal Activity Review

K and I just recently saw Paranormal Activity, a mockumentary film only playing in select cities, before potentially going nationwide based on interest. Our friends, W and S, had been dying to see this film and asked us along. It had only been playing in Boulder, but just recently expanded to several other theatres in Denver.

The film has all the makings of a classic scary movie: young couple living in a chic San Diegoan house, she’s experiencing odd goings-on around said chic house, boyfriend buys expensive video camera to record said goings-on during the night.

Paranormal Activity is by no means an “action packed scare fest,” nor is it “slow.” Instead it builds. It builds so much so that you begin to dread the next paranormal occurrance. Unexplained grumblings around the house lead to whisperings, which lead to footsteps on the hardwood floor, which lead to slamming doors, which lead to…

And then you realize this movie is like Ghost Hunters on STERIOIDS! And you don’t want to stay and watch, but you have to stay and watch to prove your bravery against those high schoolers from a local school you heard about who left mid-film because they were so disturbed! And by the end, when your feet are on the seat and your knees are clutched to your body and your stomach feels like you’ve just gotten off a roller coaster, and it feels like your heart has been yanked out of your chest and thrown on the ground and stomped on, you suddenly dread being alone!

The director, Oren Peli, certainly set out what he wanted to accomplish when on the drive home (alone, might I add), my Sigg water bottle slipped between the passenger seat and door, making an unpleasant and unexpected sound, scaring me spitless. Even now, a week later, I swear I’m hearing noises in my house that were never there before.

I give Paranormal Activity 3.5 out of 5 stars. Or, ghosts…

League Championships 2009

It’s been a LONG week for me with parent/teacher conferences* taking up 3 of the nights. It’s so exhausting talking to parents about their kids for 4 hours, 3 nights in a row. I have to be mentally “on” the entire night. Friday couldn’t have come soon enough. Not only because it would signify that fall conferences were completed, but it was also the day for my cross country kids League Championship meet. All the coaches were very anxious for this meet, as most of the teams we’d see will also be present at the following week’s Regional meet. League would be a good indicator as to how the teams would do in qualifying for State.

We’ve already been talking to the runners about what other teams they need to be aware of in the race. They know other team’s colors and they know to try to get in front of those competitors! Passing one runner could mean a different team place for them.

Our League, Jefferson County (JeffCo), is certainly one of the toughest, with some fairly competitive schools. Generally, the final team results vary by mere points. Such was the case in Friday’s race. One of the girls varsity top teams is a mountain school, Evergreen. They typically score very low, and have almost had a perfect score at a previous meet we’ve competed in with them. A perfect score in cross country is 15 points. Evergreen girls had scored an 18!

League Results:
Girls Varsity: 2nd overall
Score: 77 points (3, 7, 18, 21, 28)
Not surprising, Evergreen took home the championship plaque with 44 points!

Boys Varsity: 5th overall
Score: 95 points (9, 10, 16, 29, 31)
They were within 9 POINTS of placing 3rd! So close!

Since most of our biggest competitors that we’ll see next week at Regionals are also in our League, this gave us a good comparison for what next week MAY look like. There is one high school, Mullen, who we did not compete against this week because they aren’t in our League. In their race, the girls had a score of 65 points. All 5 of their scorers run a 20:51 or faster. Their top 2 scorers ran a 19:40 and 19:50. This means that our girls team has a chance of placing in the top 3 at Regionals**. Unforseen circumstances aside. On the boys side, they will have to work harder to ensure their team qualification, but, we will likely have individual boys qualify for State if the team does not.

Regionals will take place next Friday afternoon, October 23, hosted by Columbine High School*** at Clement Park. The kids know the course well, as we’ve run it once during the season and also at this past League meet. Being familiar with the course is crucial to a solid race.

*While several of you readers believe me to be Canadian, or at least crypto-Canadian, you may find it oddly amusing and slightly apropos that at the end of one of my parent/teacher conferences this week, one of the parents asked if I was Canadian! I laughed, said “no.” They kindly persisted, saying that the biggest “indicator” was the inflection in my voice when I ask questions. So, there you have it. Not only do I write like a crypto-Canadian, I also apparently speak like one as well.

**In the past, the top 4 girls teams and top 5 boys teams qualify for State at the Regionals meet. This is based off a percentage of how many teams are competing.

***Yes, THAT Columbine High School.